Get Out Your Way

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The “follow your dreams” motto is so cliche, but how do you actually do it? Do you feel socially awkward? Do you have a fear of rejection and doubt yourself? Why? What’s are the best ways to fight through attack your fears.

When attending social events, I can be the first to admit, I’ve been told that I can seem unapproachable or even awkward in person. I really have no small talk to offer, especially if I don’t already have an existing relationship with you outside of business chatting. This is something I work on consistently. I want to share some tips that I’ve been actively practicing to help myself get out my own way.

  1. When looking to spark a conversation with someone you want to meet, do not be afraid to introduce yourself. Sometimes I wait for people to approach me or a mutual friend to make that connection. While that is all smooth and works, what about the times when that opportunity doesn’t present itself? Go forward with a easy goal which should be getting to know the person and exchanging contacts. You could get detailed if you truly want to, but you gotta be natural. If you’re not a witty person, simply give a compliment. Find something you can mention that will help you ease your foot in that door.  At end of the day, have fun. Don’t get too worked up with how you start the conversation, it’s how you finish.

  2. Know what you want and believe you can achieve it. Before you can be successful in any aspect, you need to know what you’re doing and why — you need to be goal-oriented or at least have an idea of a direction you’d like to take. Do something everyday that chips away at that goal you’ve set. More importantly believe in that goal!  People can hear the frailness and doubt in ya voice. Think of ya dream as a huge piece of clay that you need to shape and carve into a statue that you will be in awe of. That needs to be the visual for you.

  3. Don’t worry about being awkward. Everyone is awkward. Fuck what they think. That might sound aggressive, but trying to fit into norms are severely damaging, especially in this day and age. The battle is all in your head. Get out that shit. Make the internal visual become your outside reality. At end of the day, you will never lose at being yourself.

  4. Know that the word “No” is progressive. Yes, a ‘No’ can lead to great things for you. Never let a ‘no’ stop you from asking for something you want. Always be upfront (respectfully), but don’t tell yourself no before you’re told no. Earn that “no”.

  5. Do not watch social media. This is huge! Sometimes I get caught up with the bull. Watching someone else’s “success” can sometimes cause you to self reflect or re-imagine your path. This isn’t good at all.

Remember social media is staged. People get to CHOOSE what they show and make their own truths. Even so, their pace is not your own, I’ve been a victim before. Believing everything I seen online, and I had to remind myself I’m in my own race. I’m doing my own thing. Remember to take ya social media in doses, it’s okay to look, but do not internalize. I’ma tell you right now, half the people on social media ain’t even the same in real life.

James McDonaldComment